Some endings are expected and some take you by surprise.
The optimistic view is to see an ending as a new beginning which is easier said than done when betrayal is involved. If I were to count every ending I have been faced with in my long life, it would be a huge number, yet here I am; still standing. Endings are about loss. You probably were heart-broken when you lost a balloon or ball when you were little, but you got over it, and LEARNED TO BE MORE CAREFUL with the next one. Things are easier to lose than people.
In school you make friends and occasionally one will move away. You say you will write or phone, and you might once or twice before you get so busy with your other friends that you forget all about the one who moved away. You moved on. How many of your high school or college friends did you keep in touch with after saying goodbye upon graduation? I actually tried with a handful, but I found the effort to be one-sided. They had moved on. The same is true when they enter into a committed relationship, and again when they get married. Couples gravitate to other couples. The next time you encounter this will be when they start having children. Families hang out with families. Eventually, you will lose someone due to their passing away, and you will question whether you should have made a greater effort. Losses of those who we once cared about take time to heal, but heal they do.
“Time heals all wounds.”
Notice how they don’t tell you how long it will take. The funny thing is that all of the losses above pale, initially at least, with the ending of a relationship due to being betrayed. The reason is obvious, we have to get past the anger caused by betrayal before we can begin to deal with the loss.
It’s a double whammy.
If this is you this holiday season, reach out to friends or family, get showered, put on some nice clothes and go out to parties. Putting on the appearance there is nothing wrong will soon become normal, and nothing will be wrong shortly thereafter. Spewing venomous rage or throwing pity parties only increase the healing time. Most importantly you must remember that it was their character flaws—not yours—which led to them betraying you. Betrayal is toughest on honest people because we cannot rationalize this level of deceit.
Yet here we are . . . still standing.
I hope all my readers will have a wonderful holiday season filled with genuine love from friends, family, and lovers.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Yeah, I still say that.
If you like rebels who do not subscribe to political correctness, you might want to pick up a copy of my book.