Relationship Advice – 5 Wise Answers to the Question: What is love?

Just after Valentine’s Day is the perfect time for this discussion while some of you are still basking in the afterglow.

People are so lost in, and confused by, what they consider to be love these days; it is time we sorted this out once and for all, and set the record straight.

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These might be the wisest words I have ever written:

Only fools believe sex and love are related!

Sex and its effects are temporary while “true love” lasts your entire life no matter what transpires.

Love is built or destroyed by the qualities of a person’s character.

Empathy, compassion, morals, scruples, intelligence, and integrity are reasons to fall for someone possessing most or ideally all six of these character traits.

Physical appearance, voice, scent, taste, and a knowing touch are reasons to have sex, but they ARE NOT legitimate reasons for thinking we are in love.

For far too many people, their idea of love speaks of “loving feelings” which are usually strongest after sex but weaken again with time. How many times have we seen or heard the words:

“I am SO in love right now!”

This is NOT love. If you need further clarification, my book offers science-based explanations of sex and its effects, as well as the biological imperatives which drive us to partner up. Don’t worry, it’s a light-ish read.

Just because you choose to be in a committed relationship, DOES NOT mean you are in love.

You cannot force love into a sexual relationship even if it comes with the added perks of companionship, convenience,  and security. You may “love” being in a relationship, but this IS NOT the same as being “in love”.

If you ever experience true love, you will find it is a CONSTANT CONDITION that can only be altered by changes in your partner’s character.

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Relationship Advice – If I selected cars like I do women . . .

Have you ever wondered if authorities on relationships and human behavior ever have relationship troubles?

We most definitely do!

One of the first things we do when our hearts get trampled on is focus on not losing our sense of humor. So on that note . . .

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Nope! The maintenance is too high.

 

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Nice but maybe something older.

 

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She is okay I guess, but not quite what I had in mind. Let’s keep looking.

 

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She’s a beauty. With a little work she’ll be wonderful. I think I’m in love.

Don’t be like E. A., buy his book Ms. Creant: The Wrong Doers! and save yourself.

I admit it, we are clueless.

It took me four decades, to finally have an inkling. You can get well ahead of the curve by reading Ms. Creant, or you can let time and experience be your teacher. It’s your call; but as one who did it the hard way, I assure you I would have much rather read a book, had one like this existed in my youth.

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Relationship Advice – Turkey Improves Your Sex Life.

Have a sexy Thanksgiving America.

Yeah, there is no scientific basis for this hypothesis but, as usual, I will proceed undaunted. Here is what I am basing this on:

  1. Unless you are an ingrate, you should reward your significant other with a few orgasms after they slaved in the kitchen for hours preparing an awesome Thanksgiving feast for you.
  2. Any woman who cooks for me has a serious shot once I wake from my tryptophan induced turkey coma . . . and an even better one if she doesn’t wait for me to wake up.
  3. After dinner, the chances are good that your partner will have their pants undone or completely removed, or be wearing stretchy pants which are easy to remove.
  4. If you helped preparing, serving, or cleaning up after the meal, you are in.
  5. Copious amounts of wine are sometimes consumed by the cooks to make this massive undertaking less of a chore. It’s pantie-peeler, especially when you paid attention to #4.

Enjoy your holiday and I hope you get some.

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Relationship Advice – What is good for the goose?

Relationships are hard, especially when your significant other is unconsciously starting a new one.

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I have lived this one more times than I care to think about. It always goes the same way. First you notice a change in routine. Communication becomes brief with talk of the weather, business, and other mundane topics. Intimacy shrivels and dies. Your significant other seems crazy busy and tired so you don’t push date nights, and your sex life becomes something you must initiate because they do not start things any longer. Their productivity suffers, but again you sluff it off as “The poor dear is so exhausted.” Eventually, it comes out that your partner has a new “friend”. If your significant other is a talker, you will hear a great deal about this friend and their circumstances as you wait patiently to see what develops. If you object to their interest in this person, you will be called jealous or controlling so you suffer, mostly in silence, wishing they were that interested in you once again. You feel them slipping away.

“It is purely platonic.”

“I am not doing anything wrong.”

Aren’t you?

They are not doing anything right either; of this you can be sure as they dive headlong into this new “harmless” relationship right before your eyes. They chat with their friend in front of you so they can RATIONALIZE that they are being open and honest with you; when in fact, they are actually doing this to DELUDE themselves about their attraction to this new friend and the truth of where this relationship might lead.

What is good for the goose, is not so good for the gander or vise-versa.

If the shoe was on the other foot, how would they respond? Empathy is dead. Hopefully, you are not encumbered by marriage, children, or shared debt when this day arrives. You will know it when you question the character of this “character”, and your significant other defends their lack of scruples.

It is time to squabble or to pack your bags. It could go either way.

Chances are, your significant other is not willing to let you go just yet. They have a history with you which usually has some value. If you believe this to be the case, it is time to shake them back to reality–figuratively speaking of course–and to let them know just how you feel.

Relationships carry with them more than a vow of physical monogamy. There is also an implied vow of honourable and appropriate behaviour . . . things that seem to have less meaning with each passing year as moral decay sweeps away the remnants of decency in our society.